You know how someone can tell you something over and over again, but because the source isn't one you believe, then what they are saying, truth or not just isn't good enough? Well, I went to a trusted person in my life to discuss something that I felt I had moved through but for some reason it wasn't completely gone. I guess you could say it was a fantasy of mine, but it was something that my dear little heart has been gripping on since I was a teen.
LOVE!!! Oh how sweet is love, how sour is love. But with my blind little eye, that focused on the minor keys to a song. I can Honestly and with a whole heart SAY, that I truly missed its point.
He walked across the stage into my presence like a gift with a form that I KNEW only God could make. His song so sweet with passion, his lips with its invisible power stole me away and rescued me from the smallest of reality. "Father!" With all the power my young heart could muster, "if by chance this man could love a woman like me have him look at me please, in JESUS'S name I pray, Amen." He swept across the stage, first to the left, and then to the right. When he came to my side, he locked his eyes on mine. With bashful disbelief, I closed my eyes, "Father, if that look was really for me, and please forgive my doubt, Please have him look at me one more time." The music started to play, and the hands started to lift, and again he came my way, and my eyes were glued to his. OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH JESUS how great you are, I'm so honored lord. And I danced all the harder.
So many years later, after many failed relationships, I kept my eyes focused looking for Hank to appear. We met, he hugged me once. But never did I find the promise that he was ready to sweep me up.
So I went to my source, to someone I knew had heard God's voice. HE BELIEVED ME!!! He reminded me of a man Named Gideon who was visited by an angel, and he asked the lord for a sign if his mission be true...And when the sign was granted to him he asked for it again...and the lord granted it to him...
Judges 6:36-40 Gideon said to God, “If you will save Israel by my hand as you have promised— look, I will place a wool fleece on the threshing floor. If there is dew only on the fleece and all the ground is dry, then I will know that you will save Israel by my hand, as you said.” And that is what happened. Gideon rose early the next day; he squeezed the fleece and wrung out the dew—a bowlful of water. Then Gideon said to God, “Do not be angry with me. Let me make just one more request. Allow me one more test with the fleece. This time make the fleece dry and the ground covered with dew.” That night God did so. Only the fleece was dry; all the ground was covered with dew.
Now after I talked to the man He told me that I should really not settle for something like a man so much over my senior. The funny thing was I never told him that is was someone much MUCH older then me. As my heart meditated on this a little more I thought about what really happened that day. Maybe God was telling me, in his form of presenting me a miracle that only I would be able to see and believe. LOL, cause lord knows I have told this story so many times, and have received looks of crazy, yet I was always comforted in knowing that God knew what had happened that day. And God knew what I had seen what I had really witnessed that day.
Do I believe that the man will one day be my husband and all that....I don't know. It would be a bold LIE to say NO. But I do know this, it was enough to confirm that God listens to the prayer of a little girl, who only wants to know if she is good enough for the lead singer of her favorite band. It was enough for me to find and feel honor that the lord had blessed me for my small shallow request. It also showed me that he had made my heart, and knows what’s inside it like the type of man my heart is set on. One who is bold and a believer. I do know that Hank is bold and he does profess to be a believer. But that’s about it. I know he likes to inspire people, which I also think is cool. But again that’s about it. Do I still think he shines like morning glories, of course. He was my first real crush, a heart holds on to things like that. Yet, I don't like that he curses like a sailor. Because he taught me to curse like a sailor. I don't like that he asks people to have his image tatted on them, because he inspired me to get his tatt. Lol I was like a sick little girlfriend with out even a kiss...Again though it stems back to the point I missed...Which is this...
God gave me something that was just for me. Something that only I could have the opportunity to understand or not understand. And yet it took me many years of this thing resting in my mind for me to really be able to view it for what it really was. See it wasn't God confirming Franks, I mean, Hank's love for me...He was confirming HIS LOVE FOR ME...YEAH BUDDY!!! I put forth a challenge to any who believes in the power of prayer....Go ahead, ask God, with belief and faith in his answer for something...TRUST HIM, good or bad the answer...Trust him...then ask. It may not be as simple or as fast as my answer, but an answer you will get.
I have done this many times in my life. The thing is that when he has given me an answer that I didn't like I didn't praise him like I would if he had told me about a million dollars waiting for me...Sometimes its hard to except that some things are just not apart of your destiny. I mean I have heard him in things, warning me, and I tried doing that thing myself... Lol Later on Hank made a song that did image me...It kinda was talking about a girl who was calling and stalking him, and wouldn't leave him alone..."I guess you heard this song wanna know who I'm talkin Bout, I bet you heard this song wanna know who I'm talkin bout! You, awwwwwwwwwwwww yeah baby...." Love, Real love...lol...I think that’s the clearest song that he ever made that sounded anything like something that I had done in a relationship, when I was still searching for love in all the wrong places. I guess he had dated a girl like me...

i share my naked self because i feel its fake to be something else i was made to be this i have no shame i took the risks and learned the consequence to gain knowledge art is freedom where someone elses reality becomes subject to someone elses beleif

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